Question for you: when’s the last time you really laughed?
Think about that for a moment.
…
I recently attended a workshop on Pleasure Through Laughter and Play led by Jenny Shealy, LCSW, and this was one of her opening questions. She cited an interesting statistic which I’ll share with you here: Did you know the average four-year-old child laughs 300 times a day? By contrast, it takes more than two months for the average 40-year-old adult to laugh that many times. There’s even such a thing as a “humor cliff” which observed that the frequency at which we laugh and smile plummets around age 23.
Did you know that laughter itself can be a form of nervous system calibration? Not only that, did you know there’s such a thing as a laughgasm? Nothing is more delicious than losing yourself in a side-splitting, seemingly endless crying with laughter session, and that type of laughing can certainly help you experience the relief, release and feeling of refreshment you might have from an orgasm that is, clear the mind, settle the synapses, relax-reboot and all is well…
Laughter can also increase the level of endorphins and neurotransmitters that are health-enhancing, while lowering the level of stress hormones in your body, like cortisol. Overall, laughter provides fantastic physical and emotional release, and not only that- it also
provides…PLEASURE!
And what’s one way to invoke laughter?
You’ve got it…. through play!
So, what is play, and how we can incorporate it more into our sexual and non-sexual lives? Click the link below to read the full article!
So, what is play? Dr. Stuart Brown, Founder of the National Institute for Play defines play as something done for its own sake, something that is pleasurable, engages us, and which involves an act that is more important than the outcome- and, it’s important to note those pleasurable activities are different for everyone!
When it comes to sex, it’s my personal opinion that sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously. What might it look to laugh during sexy time? To get a little silly? Can play itself be an avenue to incorporate more pleasure in your life?
Playing is something we can do to get creative, add intimacy, and make space for opportunities
to explore with ourselves, or our partner(s).
Here are three games you can play with your partner to add some creativity, fun, and laughter to your relationship or intimate life!
1. Hide and Go Freak: Is there something special you want to bring into the bedroom? Hide a sex toy, lingerie, blind fold, paddle, etc and tell your lover(s) that everything they find will be used later that night.
2. Power Play: From a naked tickle war, pillow fight, or play wrestling- incorporating consensual levels of power play, or struggling against your partners can be arousing, fun, and pleasure inducing. You might consider upping the stakes and make an agreement on what the loser will have to do for the winner.
3. Red Light Green Light: Tell your lover(s) to lick and kiss all over your body-from head to toe! When you say red light, they have to stay right where they are and continue licking, kissing, sucking, massaging, etc that area of the body. When you say green light, that’s their cue to continue exploring your body.
It’s worthwhile to note that sexy or erotic play doesn’t have to involve or center penetration, orgasm, or sex at all. As always, it’s also important to establish a safe word with your partner(s) or playmate(s). And remember, there’s no right or wrong way to play- the goal is to have fun, enjoy yourself, and give yourself permission to feel good!
Like these games? You can download your own free workbook and more from Sexual Resources| Afrosexology — AFROSEXOLOGY.
Interested in getting more personalized support with living a more pleasure-centered life? Work
with one of our phenomenal coaches or therapists at LAST! You can meet them here!
Jamie Azar, CSRC
Author
Jamie Azar is former graduate of the Pleasure Psychology and Sexology Certification program, a sex, relationship, and intimacy coach, educator, writer, and mindfulness practitioner based in South Carolina. She offers 1-1 coaching with singles, couples, throuples + to co-create a safe, sex-positive, transformative, liberating, and empowering space that fosters personal and relational growth. She specializes in dismantling limiting beliefs, deconstructing, and destigmatizing harmful narrative constructs, to help clients reframe and redefine their understandings of selfhood, sex, sexuality, and relationships. To work with Jamie go here!