We all have to grow up. We all have to learn how to deal with our bodies, the world around us, and the people in it. But when it comes to sexuality, there seems to be an expectation that we’ll know what we want when we see it.
And yet: we don’t always know what we want! And that’s ok!
Sexuality Can Shift and Change Throughout Someone’s Life
Whether you’re bisexual, pansexual, straight, gay, or anything else, you might not always feel comfortable with that label, even if it’s been a staple of your identity for years and years. Your sexual desires and behaviors may alter during different times in your life, depending on a host of bio-psycho-social factors. A lot of what we like sexually has to do with where we are in life, our experiences, and, well, basically anything. “Sexuality is fluid, meaning our desires, needs, wants and attractions shift in our lives, sometimes over long periods of time but sometimes day to day, even minute to minute,” Moushumi Ghose, MFT, a licensed sex therapist, tells TheBody. “Our sexuality is not static.”
Do you know if your partner will be kind and generous or cruel and self-serving? Do you know if they will love you unconditionally or require constant validation from outside sources?
The point is: none of us are stagnant—we are always evolving and changing in some way or other. And because of this fact, questioning your sexual orientation doesn’t mean anything about who you are as a person. It just means that right now, at this moment in time, there are things happening that are making it hard for you to define who or what makes up your sexuality.
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Caitlin Oates
Author
Doubling as LAST’s practice manager and intake coordinator, Caitlin is a writer and creative with a passion for sex-positivity, LGBTQIA advocacy, and mental health care.
Caitlin earned her bachelor’s degree in communications from Northwestern University, and now flexes those communication muscles by teaching medical students humanism skills, coaching athletes in functional fitness, and learning from and working with LAST to promote, amplify, and normalize the importance of sexual and mental health.