As a therapist who has been working in the mental health field for over a decade, with a primary focus on sexuality and sexual wholeness, I had focused on supporting clients by:
Providing accurate and helpful sex education and messaging – Most of us have received inaccurate and fear-based sex education. This results in many of us holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations and limiting our ability to engage without sexual experiences from a place of empowerment and curiosity needed to have positive experiences.
Building client’s connections with their body and nervous system – It is common for people to feel disconnected from their bodies, and unaware of what arousal, pleasure, and sexual interest actually feel like. Being able to notice shifts in the body that indicate our “yeses” and “nos” is a skill that requires practice – and not many of us have been taught this skill before!
Challenging old narratives that contributed to negative or unhelpful thought processes and behaviors – Our culture is consistently perpetuating messages that tell us we are not good enough or sexy enough. Feeling good about ourselves and empowered to create our own joyful experiences is bad for business – who would buy all these cosmetic products if we all felt authentically positive about ourselves as-is? Claiming our own experience of ourselves is a radical practice, and requires a good amount of un-learning.
For many people, these approaches were helpful, and we saw meaningful shifts within 3-6 months. However, for some, as much as they engaged in our sessions and did their own exploration and “home play” (rather than homework), they reported feeling stuck – the information and interventions only went so deep. Then, I attended EMDR training and learned a new way to help clients move through deeply embedded narratives and patterns and move forward feeling more present, empowered, and centered.
What is EMDR?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. In EMDR, we identify current behaviors and experiences that stem from previous messages and/or experiences that we were not fully able to process in a helpful way. We identify the root memories associated with current concerns and use bilateral stimulation (such as moving your eyes rapidly from left to right, tapping back and forth on the left to right sides, or audio that plays in one ear and then the other back and forth) to reprocess them. There are a few theories as to why this is impactful: it is similar to REM sleep, it engages different parts of our brain, and/or it keeps us present in the moment by bringing our focus to the movements and sensations while addressing memories from the past. While the exact mechanism is not known, we do know that this process helps most people reduce emotional charge around the memories, and release the current day behaviors or reactions that were causing them concern. Many clients I have worked with have remarked that they feel like they have gone deeper and resolved challenges that they had previously spent years working on in talk therapy, sometimes just after one session!
This way of reprocessing can help with:
Out of Control Sexual Behaviors
Body Image and Self-Esteem
Trauma and Adverse Sexual Experiences
Shame and Systemic Trauma
Attachment Wounds
If you have been working on some of these challenges and are feeling stuck, it may be time to consider talking with your therapist about EMDR.
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www.ellecsw.com
Elle Hawkins, LCSW
Author
Elizabeth “Elle” Hawkins is a licensed clinical social worker experienced in working with people across the gender spectrum, adults living with disability and chronic illness, survivors of domestic violence, people managing substance use, and those navigating grief and loss.
Elle completed their Master of Science in Social Work degree at the University of Texas at Austin and is trained in EMDR, Somatica Attachment Therapy, and the developmental model of couples counseling. With a focus on empowering people to slow down, find their authentic voice, and consciously craft their path, Elle looks forward to working with you toward more authentic, connected, and FUN expressions of self.
Check out their website for more information: ellecsw.com