By Moushumi Ghose, LMFT
Therapy Isn’t Just Talking: A PSA About Somatic Work
Somatic work.
As a sex therapist, it’s important to me that we incorporate somatic work into therapy. And yet, many people still believe therapy is mostly about talking—processing things cognitively, understanding what happened, naming feelings, making sense of it all.
Talking does matter. But talking alone doesn’t always connect what’s happening up here—our thoughts, insights, realizations—to what’s happening in our bodies.
And that disconnect is a big deal.
I often tell clients this:
Our minds are usually way ahead of our bodies. Sometimes light-years ahead.
Biologically speaking, our bodies are often stuck in the past. Not just metaphorically—literally.
If you’re familiar with fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, you already know this. These are evolutionary survival mechanisms our bodies still use today, carried forward from extremely old survival contexts. That’s how ancient the body’s memory is.
On top of that, the body holds personal memory. Childhood experiences, teenage years, things that happened in your twenties, thirties—even later in life. All of that can live in the body, long after the mind has “figured it out.”
So you might know something is true.
You might intellectually understand that you’re safe now, that the relationship is over, that the trauma is in the past.
But your body doesn’t know that yet.
And when therapy stays purely cerebral—when we only talk, analyze, intellectualize—we miss a crucial part of healing.
Especially now, when so much therapy happens on Zoom. Or through apps. Or even through texting. Those things can be helpful in the moment. They can offer insight, validation, relief.
But if you want long-term tools—real nervous system regulation, not just emotional understanding—it’s important to integrate some form of somatic work.
The good news is: many therapists have been doing somatic work for a long time. And more recently, the mental health field has really begun to embrace it, which is wonderful.
What hasn’t caught up yet?
Clients.
A lot of clients are still deeply resistant. They don’t want to do it. They don’t want to breathe, or slow down, or practice mindfulness, or get out of the chair. They don’t think it’ll help. They just want to talk.
Sometimes they want to talk about it ad nauseam.
So if this is you—if you’re in therapy and your therapist has suggested incorporating somatic work, and you’ve been avoiding it—I want to gently say this:
You’re missing a really important piece of your healing.
And if your therapist hasn’t brought up somatic work, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong. Not every therapist is trained in it. But you can ask. They can often guide you to resources or refer you to someone who does this kind of work.
There are also a ton of accessible resources out there. You can literally Google “somatic therapy” or “somatic techniques for nervous system healing” on YouTube and find practices to explore. You can read books. Try things on your own. Bring them into therapy and talk about what you notice together.
Just make sure you’re incorporating something that helps the body process—not just the mind.
Because while your mind might be processing grief one way, your body is processing grief in a completely different way. And this isn’t just about grief. It’s about shame. Trauma. Chronic stress. Relational wounds.
The body always has its own timeline.
Somatic interventions can help bridge that gap. EMDR is a great example. Movement helps. Getting on the floor. Getting out of the chair. Letting the body participate in the healing process.
So this is your gentle PSA:
If you’ve been resistant to body-based work in therapy, it might be worth reconsidering.
Your healing doesn’t have to be harder—or slower—than it already is.
And your body wants to be included.
Mou (pronounced Mo) is licensed sex therapist, sex-positive advocate, the founder and clinical director at Los Angeles Sex Therapy (LAST Collective). She is also the creator of the Pleasure Psych Sexology Training Certification for aspiring sex educators, therapists and coaches.
Mou’s passion is around advocacy and change by breaking down barriers for better relationships and sex. Mou specializes in couples sex therapy that is trauma informed with an emphasis on emotion focused and somatic work and which integrates other modalities as needed which are tailored to her clients needs. She has extensive experience both personal and professional with LGBTQIA, Kink, Ethical Consensual Non Monogamy (ENM/CNM), Polyamory, BIPOC.
She is the author of several books, has appeared in the media and numerous publications. She is the creator of a documentary film series Temple and Brothels undoing harmful messages around sex, and sexuality.
Mou is currently accepting clients in her sexuality program: The Desire Formula, which is a group/team program spearheaded by Mou and includes wrap around services from her team.
You can learn more by watching Mou’s free training: Watch Mou’s Free Training on Sexuality in Relationships