LAST BLOG

by Jamie Azar, Certified Relationship and Intimacy Coach Regardless of all the pressure materialism creates around the holidays, most of us recognize the true value in simply spending time with people we care about or enjoying uninterrupted time with ourselves....

Despite what social media, entertainment, family, and of course the rampant and unbridled commercialism might lead you to believe, the holiday season can be an acutely painful and difficult time. As much as it can cast everyone in a warm glow of good will, it can...

How Partners and Couples Can Soothe Stress and Stay Connected This Season by Jamie Azar, Certified Sex Coach The holiday season is upon us, and for many people, that may involve making travel preparations, decorating homes, attending children's holiday plays and...

“Purity culture” is a semi-religious cultural and societal movement which emphasizes sexual abstinence, placing extreme importance on virginity and sexual restriction, with roots in midcentury American Evangelical Christian teachings. Its birth as a movement can be...

How to Have the Sex You Want on Your Own Terms by Jamie Azar, Certified Sex Coach Sex doesn’t have to be a linear experience, though when it comes to sex, society has primarily taught us that it is. We are expected to escalate activities until we reach “the ultimate...

Tantric sex is one of those buzzy expressions that feels like perhaps we might vaguely know what it is/know of it, especially as the mist and mysticism around sexuality in the western world has begun to lift. But like many of our sexy buzzwords, tantra has often...

Discovering your joy and body’s pleasure is your own individual journey, so I can’t define it for you. However, as a sex, relationship, and intimacy coach, I can share some of the barriers to pleasure, and some helpful reframes to cultivate more interest and curiosity in embracing your pleasure and distinct erotic expression.

Aaaaaand we're back with another newsletter, pals! This week is about physically returning to your body through yoga and breathing exercises. This practice is designed to be flexible with your schedule! Someone might have an hour to set aside, while others might only...

Differentiation In Couples Relationships: Reigniting Connection by Jamie Azar, Certified Sex Coach When we neglect to maintain our independence and autonomy in a long-term relationship, we risk “merging,” “fusing” or “enmeshment” with our partner. In essence, what...

This team approach to sex therapy does more than alter your sex life, it can change your life. As a psychotherapist working with and specializing in sex and sexuality, I have had the honor of working with and observing the highly effective and life changing...

This piece explores the "neurodiverse experience – its unique capacity for intimacy, connection, and sexuality, even if experienced differently. Understanding Our Differences Understanding the interplay between trauma and neurodiversity is crucial. Trauma, whether...

Growing up in a society that demonizes porn or even bans it outright can create a lot of shame around utilizing adult entertainment videos for sexual arousal and release. That shame can produce concerns of whether or not an individual is addicted to porn, leaving them...

I haven't always been one to share my ~personal stories~ on the internet, but here's what I've come to learn—personal stories are precisely what makes people feel heard, seen, less alone, less weird, less shameful, more comfortable, and like they have permission to...

You’ve heard us talk at length about monogamy and polyamory, and the variety of challenges, adventures, and sometimes conflicts that arise within the contexts of exploring either of these two relationship dynamics. Given that ethical or consensual non-monogamy...

As someone who has been working with folks deconstructing their religion for almost three years now, there is a common theme I notice in my clients. Religious messaging has left a lot of adults feeling like their bodies aren't inherently theirs and are underserving of...

Life isn’t always ~setting the mood~ for sexy time. In fact, for most folks, sexy time takes work, and even if it doesn’t sound like it, work can be sexy (trust me).  Here’s the deal: you aren’t alone. So many folks are in the same boat. But don’t fret; even if it...

Question for you: when’s the last time you really laughed?Think about that for a moment. ... I recently attended a workshop on Pleasure Through Laughter and Play led by Jenny Shealy, LCSW, and this was one of her opening questions. She cited an interesting statistic...

You’re probably familiar with the phrase "Don't Ask Don't Tell"– a policy the US military said was inclusive to the LGBT community, but which was actually rooted in oppression and discrimination. Don't Ask Don't Tell encouraged secrecy, shame, and suppression of self....

What happens when one partner is in therapy and the other is not? Much as we might sing its praises, not every person out there is in therapy, and fewer still have “always” been in therapy. It comes as no surprise, then, that therapy–whether you’re in it or not–can...

What if I told you the path to better sex involves unlearning almost everything you’ve ever been taught about sex and sexuality? That GREAT sex doesn’t necessarily involve learning a new technique, position, renting a hotel room, or trying a new toy (though those can...

A polycule describes the intra-relationship network amongst polyamorous relationships and how they function and relate to one another. As you can probably tell, it's the conjunction of “poly” and “molecule” and is aptly named when you consider the bonds and...

Surviving the impact of domestic violence and sexual trauma is no easy feat. The physical, emotional, and psychological toll can be overwhelming. But here's the thing – you are not alone. I've worked with countless clients who have walked this path, and today, I want...

Very often–some might say perhaps a little too often–the predominant focus in sex and sexuality is achieving (and completing...) orgasm. The drive to come is strong, and there is an endless font of resources available to those on that journey. But what about the other...

It’s the holiday season, and you know what that means–maybe time with friends and family, our favorite treats, grand expectations of “warm, fuzzy feelings,” and for many of us, the boredom of the hometown, which often leaves us scrolling our phones to escape, running...

In an era where personal freedom and emotional intelligence are highly valued, discussions regarding our traditional views of love and relationships have begun simmering in every nook and corner of society. 'Breaking Barriers: A Close Look at Ethical Non-Monogamy'...

Discover the secret weapon that can transform your sex life and boost your confidence: sex coaches. In a society where sexual taboos often prevent open and honest discussions about our desires and needs, sex coaches offer a safe and judgment-free space for exploring...

Our romantic relationships face a tremendous amount of pressure--societally, socially, sometimes internally. Whether verbalized or not, there is a permeating idea that your romantic partner has to be your "be-all, end-all," providing everything you could be seeking in...

When we engage in any kind of relationship, it always starts with a choice; we make decisions and then stand by them, and make subsequent choices which support that first one. As you probably know by now, we at LAST tend to encourage everyone to get away from the...

What Creates Pressure? It’s undeniable that our culture and media is obsessed with sex. Naturally, the representation, miseducation, and stigmatization catalyzed by the media can have detrimental impacts on one’s own understanding of sex and sexuality. With the number...

“Veto power”--if you haven’t heard the term since 9th grade U.S. Government class, we’ve got a new definition for you, and this one comes with some potentially messier complications. While you may be familiar with CNM (consensually non-monogamous)/ENM (ethically...

Til death do us part: five small words, with centuries of enormous significance behind them–however unjustified. The goal of divorce is understandably not on anyone’s romantic “to-do” lists; we enter into the contract of marriage intending, for the most part, to...

Infidelity can come in many forms, whether it be emotional, physical, financial, or otherwise. What is considered cheating also depends on an individual or couples' definition of cheating, and also on the agreements previously determined in the relationship. It’s...

There are few things that can put a damper on your happy, healthy, sexual life quite like painful intercourse. For those with vaginas, painful intercourse can also be known by another name, vaginismus. Vaginismus is predominantly a psychological problem, which yields...

S*x can be hard to talk about, especially when there is discomfort, embarrassment, or shame around the issue. In fact, one of the most common problems in relationships is mismatched desires, which can be a difficult issue to both confront and discuss with a...

When performance becomes a priority in the bedroom, we deny ourselves the expansiveness and depth of our pleasure. Performance anxiety in its simplest terms might look like “putting on a show” in the bedroom for the sake of maintaining a persona, or upholding ideals...

It’s pretty standard amongst humans that we do our best to avoid being humiliated–the classic nightmares of public speaking without your notes, or showing up to school naked come to mind. However, humiliation, much like other seemingly unrelated behaviors, can...

Erectile disorder (more widely known as "erectile dysfunction") affects about 1 in 3 AMAB individuals, but it nevertheless can be a source of distress and shame for many dealing with it. In order to unpack the complicated feelings about, and determine the potential...

Defined as “orgasms happening in quick succession…within seconds or minutes of each other,” multiple orgasms can seem mysterious and, perhaps, simply mythical. However, great news for those with vulvas, they are both real and entirely possible for every vulva from a...

Despite its being one of the most prevalent hurdles we face within any relationship–romantic, platonic, familial–jealousy often goes unaddressed and swept under the rug. Moushumi Ghose, LMFT encourages us to take a closer look at this fickle feeling we tend to judge...

With so many modalities of therapy available now, it can be easy to forget that until recently, the scope of traditional therapy was confined to a somewhat narrower definition. Indeed, for many, the word “therapy” still conjures the archetypal mental picture of a...

Now up on The Sex Talk, Mou chats with LAST team member and Associate Professional Clinical Counselor, Kane Slosburg, on the philosophies they integrate into their practice, and together Mou and Kane dive a little bit deeper into the functions of those modalities, and...

If you’ve been following along with LAST for a while, you’ve hopefully had a chance to meet Devin Green, LPCC, and read in earlier posts about the new frontier in psychotherapy, psychedelic-assisted therapy. Devin is a compassionate practitioner of this...

Non-monogamy: the subject can be a touchy one, particularly as it is yet another relationship road seemingly less traveled, and therefore less openly discussed. The less we know about something, the scarier it is. There are plenty of people who prefer and enjoy...

You've probably heard of anal orgasms, as either fact or fiction, and we're here to tell you that they're real, they're possible, and they're just as pleasurable! We're not just talking about the physical benefits (tighter muscles, increased blood flow), but also...

While LAST will still be working out-of-network we will be parting ways working directly and in-network with health insurance insurance carriers this March 2023, and we feel that it’s important to talk about why. Despite the medical benefits that insurance affords to...

If you’ve ever struggled with mental health, you know that there are a wide variety of techniques and practices available when seeking treatment. Plenty of these are more common, and increasingly encouraged and supported by mainstream mental health care–mindfulness,...

The time has come for the Residence 11 Desire Summit, this Saturday, February 11th! Join LAST founder Moushumi Ghose, MFT with LAST therapist Melissa LeSane, MFT for a full day of squashing shame as we learn how to navigate healthy, honest, joyful, and fulfilling...

Many of us are familiar with the scenario of the bleeding-after-sex scare. But if you’re not having pain, it’s probably not what you think. In fact, there are lots of reasons why you might be bleeding after sex—and many of them aren't as scary as that first sight of...

If you’re kinky and in a relationship with someone who isn’t, that can feel really daunting. We don’t live in a society that welcomes open, honest conversations about sex, so when it comes to practices that are considered “taboo,” broaching the topic of kinks with...

What is demisexuality? If you’re reading this, chances are you have some questions about the term. And that’s okay! Demisexuality is a new word to most people, so it can be hard to wrap your head around it. To help you understand what demisexuality means and how it...

While having sex standing up can be more challenging than fun, there are ways to make it amazing. Standing sex can feel like the most inspired idea in the universe until you’re getting thrusted into at an awkward angle by someone whose height doesn’t align with yours....

When you're diagnosed with cancer, it can feel like your life is over. But it doesn't have to be that way! We know that being diagnosed with cancer is scary, and it's hard to stay positive when you're worried about your health and the future. But there are lots of...

Hey, fellow sex-positive person! Are you ready to get the most out of your sex life? Because I am! And I know YOU will be too. We've got something amazing in store for you on February 11th, 2023: the first annual DESIRE SUMMIT! in Los Angeles and live-streaming around...

Pain during sex is incredibly common and very distressing for those who experience it. It can have real and lasting impacts on your life and well-being. We need to be talking more about this topic because, frankly, it doesn’t get enough airtime AT ALL. As a society,...

Mou is a sex therapist, author, and founder of LAST. An activist at heart for sexual and gender freedoms, she has dedicated her life to helping people unlearn harmful messages, and come into their own. Let us hear her story of how she came to this calling and her goal...

When we think of sex therapy, we generally assume this takes place with (and is for) adults or couples. This neglects the importance of helping our children understand sexuality and their bodies. If you are a parent, an aunt or uncle, or a much older sibling, you know...

We all have to grow up. We all have to learn how to deal with our bodies, the world around us, and the people in it. But when it comes to sexuality, there seems to be an expectation that we’ll know what we want when we see it. And yet: we don’t always know what we...

Have you ever wondered if the frequency of your sex life has any bearing on how often you masturbate? A new study offers some insight into this question, and it turns out that the answer is a resounding "yes." The research found that men who had sex regularly were...

Sex addiction is not a real disease. In fact, it's not even a disorder—it's just a term that we use to describe people who have problems with sex. It’s time to stop calling it "sex addiction" and start talking about what's really going on. Despite recent progress in...

Vaginal wetness is a confusing thing. If you’re “too dry,” you need lube. If you’re “too wet,” then maybe you don’t need lube after all. But maybe you do. Or maybe your partner does! It can be tough to know whether you need lube for sex or not. I mean, can the vulva...

If you’ve ever found yourself in bed with a partner only to have your mind clogged with strange, scary, or disgusting thoughts—you’re really not on your own there. This can be extremely distressing, distracting, and libido-deadening, but it’s not unusual. The good...

Want to have a threesome? This article will walk you through the basics of getting started – and what you need to know. If you and your partner are interested in having a threesome, welcome to the club. Threesomes are a very fun way to experience new sexual horizons...

Have you ever wondered why some people are afraid of certain things and others aren't? A phobia is an irrational fear that interferes with daily life. It's a feeling of intense anxiety or dread that's out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the object or...

Be sure to check out this Voyage LA interview with Moushumi about founding her business, L.A.S.T – Los Angeles Sex Therapy; the importance of sex therapy for a healthy relationship; and how she started her career! "Of course, it is a long and rough road. So many...

What if you could see your therapist from anywhere in the world? That's the promise of telehealth, and it's become a reality thanks to the pandemic that hit us a few years ago. But what does it mean for therapists, their clients, and the field of mental health as a...

My sex therapist journey started in 2008, when I noticed myself that my peers did not seem to have accurate and complete information on sex and sexuality. We were all fumbling with trying to find the “right” way to relate to our sexualities. At that time, I decided to...

As a therapist who has been working in the mental health field for over a decade, with a primary focus on sexuality and sexual wholeness, I had focused on supporting clients by: Providing accurate and helpful sex education and messaging - Most of us have received...

When beginning a new romantic relationship, the question of whether to discuss your sexual history with your new partner can be tricky. If you're in a new relationship and wondering how much information to share about your sexual past, read on. The answer is — it...

Coming out is traumatic. The struggle is ongoing, it is not a one-time event, but an experience that recurs every time you tell someone about your sexual orientation. For many of us our sexuality is an integral part of us and some point, many desire to openly...

Open relationships may allow you to have multiple sexual and romantic encounters. But there are still ways in which you can betray a partner. In our culture, monogamous relationships are praised as the ideal. Anything that falls outside this can feel threatening. Open...

Slow sex isn't all about waiting for the person behind the steering wheel to put the pedal down. It's about slowing down, focusing on each other and taking your time. The longer you draw out a sexual encounter, the greater the amount of anticipation that builds, the...

Are you looking for a sex-positive psychotherapist and want to use your Out of Network insurance benefits? Los Angeles Sex Therapy / LAST has partnered with Advekit! If you have a PPO Plan, with Advekit, we can work with your insurance! Advekit makes the dream of...

We may offer coaching and consulting also. Psychotherapy and sex therapy draw on our extensive clinical work with individuals, families, and couples. In therapy we may delve much deeper into longer-standing issues, we will spend more time processing and understanding,...

We all know that words are not the only form of communication we use, in fact, they account for around 30% of all the information in any given discourse. Understanding one another often happens thanks to nonverbal gestures and that makes complete sense when you think...

After you have kids, your body will never be the same. That's just a fact of life. But that doesn't mean that you can't feel sexy again after you have kids. You just have to work at it a little more than you did before. In this article, nationally recognized sex and...

It's no secret that sex can be a complicated topic. After all, there's a reason why sex has been stigmatized and considered to be something only reserved for married people — it's complex! Human sexuality is broad and multi-dimensional, encompassing issues that are...

I am Dr. McCall-Robinson, owner, and creator of Sugah Lipz. Sugah Lipz is an oral sex-enhancing sex toy designed with bringing the “partner” back to oral sex in mind. They say the best inventions are those that solve a problem and frankly, I did just that! Thanks to...

This week in The Sex Talk, Mou breaks down some myths about arousal, lubrication, penetration, and more, plus some of the other benefits of lube, types of lube, and where to buy lube, discreetly. We do tend to live in a lube-averse society. Many fear the use of lube...

Sex therapist Moushumi Ghose advises, "One of the keys to successful sex is to step outside your comfort zone and have difficult and uncomfortable conversations. This may involve talking about sex, or it might involve being willing to try new sexual experiences."  ...

In this episode of The Sex talk with Mou, Host Moushumi Ghose, MFT discusses the topic of Harm Reduction Strategies vs. Abstinence for Alcohol and Substance Use. In this video, Mou discusses harm reduction as another approach to dealing with substance abuse issues,...

Having monogamous partners in relationship with polyamorous partners may seemed imbalanced. With a little bit of mindfulness these partners can make this work. Watch this video to learn more about this dynamkic within Ethical and Consensual Non Monogamy.MOUSHUMI...

Traumatic experiences leave behind memories in the brain and body, traces of which might show up again when you least expect it. Watch this video about triggers. In this video Mou talks about what triggers are, how to identify and manage them when they show up in your...

In this video Mou discusses the secrets of maintaining great sex in long term relationships. The tips may or may not be obvious, but if you are struggling in your relationship to try to connect try these things. Please note, this works best when both partners are...

In this video Mou (Moushumi Ghose, MFT) talks about getting your sexuality back after recovering from substance addiction. Addiction is often heavily tied in to our sexuality. Drugs are well known to reduce inhibition and therefore many people (often unbeknownst to...

In this episode Mou answers a question about getting your orgasm back after a break up. Mou reminds us that self love is built in, that masturbation is health benefit, and a gift of luxury to use to relieve stress, to help with grief, and a tool to connect to self and...

Sometimes, someone's commitment issues are rooted in their fear of rejection. Deep down, they would love to be loved, appreciated and understood, but they fear rejection from the people they're most attracted to. This is a fear of commitment, and if you have it,...

I've read several articles as to why hookup culture is a myth — the premise being that no one really enjoys a casual hookup, and the art of dating is a dying art, being belittled by suggesting it has been replaced by hookup culture and, of course, the subtext: that...

Do what you love and the rest will follow. This is the premise I operate on and is often one of the things, which I will say to single people who seem at wits end trying to figure out why they are alone. But this idea is often scoffed at. And I get it, actually. It’s...

During the lockdowns of the pandemic, we began discovering, uncovering, and rediscovering ways to connect, date, and be intimate while also social distancing. We may have discovered that online partnered sex now had a lot less stigma attached, and that we were able to...

When we long for something, we often chase it so hard that it ends up eluding us. When we want something so bad, we often hold on so tight, we squeeze the life out of it. Our desires often get the best of us, and the very thing we want, the very thing we focus on,...

Join a therapeutic book club with Elle, by emailing Elle directly elle@trustrelationshipcenter.com Our book clubs are 5 meetings, one hour, every other week, $150 for the whole series! This is a fun way to read a sex-positive book in a supportive environment with...

During the past year, many couples have been faced with a situation where they were required to quarantine together for an extended amount of time, with very little room for outside social outlets. Many couples saw an increase in disagreements and conflict, causing...

Setting boundaries can be very, very hard. Licensed marriage and family therapist Moushumi Ghose and host of The Sex Talk on YouTube discusses what makes setting boundaries so difficult for some, how to set them properly, and why they are so important. She discusses...

The pandemic has caused drastic changes to our lives and behaviors, including our dating lives. Hygenic boundaries have always been important, but have been even more amplified due to the Covid-19 virus and its subsequent variants. In this video licensed relationship...

From my experience as a relationship therapist, communication issues are one of the most common relationship complaints, ranging from: miscommunication, to lack of communication, to complicated communication or communication that just feels hella exhausting and hard. ...

In our society, we have a lot of rules, expectations and guidelines which are assumed once we get into relationships. Things like exclusivity, and hetero-sexuality for example, are a few things that are often assumed in the dating world. Such expectations and...

While dissolving a marriage is never an easy process, there are some beliefs that just don't serve us well, and frankly, they just aren't very realistic either. No one wants to get divorced. Divorce is never written into someone's life goals or plans, and most...

There are many templates for what a committed, monogamous, heterosexual relationship should look like. Everywhere we look, we see individuals engulfed in monogamous (generally heterosexual) couple hood which quite often leads to marriage. I don't wish to suggest that...

Monogamy and divorce aside, there is something else that may be a side effect of our overtly monogamous conditioning, or it might just be human evolution, something altogether different, and it definitely impacts our monogamous status: Infidelity. Helen Fisher in her...